Kentucky Fried Web

2004-11-10T13:40:00.000Z

Hello people hows it going? Long time no see (or hear!)

Just thought I'd make a post to let you know the good news, and the bad news.

The good news is that I'm really enjoying Uni down here in (at the moment) sunny Plymouth, the course I am really enjoying, and the drinking even more! I have settled in really well into the Hall of Residence and get on really well with the flat mates and we all have a good time.

Now to the bad news...

Dad was driving my car last week and was driving up the lane and he met mum in her car coming in the other direction, cut a long story short, they crashed. It wasn's a big bump just some bent bumpers and the radiator was knocked a bit - cut another long story short, the repairs would cost more than what the car is worth - i.e. a write off. So as of today I have to leave the exclusive EDC Peogeot Owner's Club. It's sad I know but I will cope!

How is everyone else nowa-days? Would be great to hear from you again!

Ian

2004-10-13T13:33:00.000+01:00

http://ninjabadger.net/webstat/usage_200409.html#TOPSEARCH

The top search referrals for my site, for the month of September.

I mean, what the fuck has 'old tits' got to do with my site?!!?!

Oh, and I found Tim's site - he's linked to all of us! http://paradisa.net

2004-09-13T22:20:00.000+01:00

Well Nobody has posed on here for bloody ages ! WTF?

So I thought I might impart some usefull infomation for those of you who are serving your time in dead end jobs waiting for UNI or just plain old working.

I have tried this at 2 places now and It seems to work quite well. I'm not sure if it will work if your only working in an office environment, and works best when half the staff are from an employment agency.

The "Workplace" Inteligence Test:

Shout Loudly: "Hey Dopey!"

See who answers or looks in your direction !!!!

Try it at your place of work. If your lucky they'll se the funny side, otherwise Run !

Well only 2 weeks 'till Uni WTF is everyone up to ?

2004-06-30T12:46:00.000+01:00

at last i passed the fucking coures

2004-06-28T14:38:00.000+01:00

So here we are; the final week of our course. What have we learnt?

1) How to play Quake, and get caught.
2) How to play Quake, and NOT get caught.
3) How to give Simon Farrant the scare of his life.
4) How to listen well in Computational Methods.
5) Ian is a closet football hooligan.
a) Creedy tries to be a hooligan.
b) Jamie isn't a hooligan.
c) G wants to be a hooligan.
d) Martin W is ... a hooligan.
e) And me... well...I just break things.
6) How to make John swear with a pack of paper (Martin..)
7) Marianne's squinting is lethal.
8) Steve Power gets the work done for him... by BND students.
9) Pyney's going to marry his pint...
10) ...And he won't need church bells with that hat.
11) The computers in D14 would be put to better use, if sold to a bowling alley.
12) Website Management > Website Development
13) IVA < *
14) The year below us are inferior.
15) Creedy could well work for the BBC. They're casting a new soap; Quakenders.
16) Dude!
17) Sweet!
18) Martin W walks like Pat Mustard (See Father Ted, 'Speed 3').
19) Jamie will lead a crusade to bring out Lesbianism in women...
20) ...Until he realises that it limits his options.
21) Ian will be someday arrested for chopping cows in half.
22) The IT lecturers will use 'CriteriaGridTemplate.xls' for years to come.
23) The IT lecturers will never use 'CodeAnalyser'. It puts them out of a job... when it works.
24) If we need a pipe bent, or a broken Astra engine - call Jamie.
25) Ron will cry when we leave.
26) John won't.
27) Marcus is always to be found in The White Ball.
28) The end of the world will never happen. See #58 on, 'The end of the world is nigh when...'
29) Jamie will have trouble accessing the Mk V Register, from under a sink.
30) BTEC are bastards.

I think that sums up most of it. Do add some more in the comment boxes, if ye so wish.

2004-06-13T17:11:00.000+01:00

Football, Not my cup of tea really. I know that in the eyes of many this means I'm not a "Real Man". I'm not a "Real Man", I preferred to think of myself as an enlightened being. I don't need 4 England flags stuck on my car to prove the fact I'm English. I now have a lovely chip on the front of my car where one of those "twat flags" fell off and damaged my car. I'm all for patriotism, I'm moderately proud to be British, but stop sticking those fucking things on your cars! I've seen collections of these things by the road where they presumably have come off the passing cars.

But what really pisses me off is the fact that this afternoon I wanted to sit down and watch my chosen sport Formula One, and sure enough I'm gonna miss the end of the race, why ? Because ITV will continue the coverage on ITV2 to allow the population to watch the football! Put the football on ITV2, If you're into football you have to have Sky TV to watch most of it, they're currently paying an unfeasible amount of money to Murdoch's Media Empire! Why the hell cant you put it on there ITV. Let me watch my Grand Prixs Live, don't make me miss the end of the race because of the Footy, and for christ sake stop plugging the football during the Grand prix shows. Jim Rosenthal must Die!

2004-06-04T10:26:00.000+01:00

Its been a while since posting, and i haven't got much to say at the moment. I've spent most of this week filling in application forms for job I really don't want but need to do so i can afford to go to Uni next year. But i took a minute out from all this incessant form filling to bang together a quick page here.

Thought I might return the favour, since Gary is often nice enough to provide us with musical adventures into his insomnia. Here a few tunes that have been fuelling my form filling!

I'm starting to feel like I've written my life story 10 times over this week.

Oh well fingers crossed!

2004-05-12T09:23:00.000+01:00

This is how insane the world has become.

There I was at the counter in the college refectory, waiting for the woman to fix the coffee machine, and I was idly looking at the cakes and stuff. Before me was an item, and the wrapper on this item said:

"Is it a bird, is it a plane, no, it's a flapjack".

I mean, why???

2004-05-10T09:18:00.000+01:00

A funny thing happened to me yesterday... Another thing that'll make Jamie cringe... ;o) and yes, it's even worse than the bird shit!

I gave someone a lift yesterday in 'Poetry', and we started talking about the car, and she said to me: "What is this? A Ford Escort?"

I tried to keep a straight face (and managed quite well I think!) and told her that it wasn't, and was a Peugeot 309, and then she noticed the Peugeot logo on the steering wheel, and (quite a giveaway I think) the manual on the floor (I couldn't remember the tyre pressures off hand...). She also said that many years ago she had a 309 too.

Of course, it wouldn't have been as funny had it not been a Ford Escort she confused it for, that's just the clincher on the whole thing!

2004-05-03T15:50:00.000+01:00

VERY BAD PUN ALERT!!!!!

OK... I have decided to give my car a name. I will call it 'Poetry'. The reason for this is so that when I drive I can say that it's Poetry in Motion.

2004-05-02T11:28:00.000+01:00

I am always amazed at the human brains capacity for eccentricities. Check this out, PacManhatten is a game of Pacman where one person dresses up a Pacman and a few others dress up as ghosts and go running around New York.

2004-04-28T18:59:00.000+01:00

Well I've done a bit of spring cleaning. Fixed the time zone cockup on the comments, added a few links and unstealthed the link to InParenthesis.com.
Why ?
Well I'm Off sick from work at the moment and really pissed off at the crappy state of evening TV. All those channels (that I'm paying for) and nothing much worth watching. So bye-bye Sky TV I've had enough of paying for crap when 90% of my viewing is on the free channels. Then perhaps I might end up turning off the telly more often instead of watching something that's being repeated for the 20th time! You never know I might read even more books, play with my guitar more often, undoubtedly I will spend even more time on the 'puter.

I think I might dedicate the 20 quid a month saving to killing brain cells in a more social setting!

2004-04-28T10:13:00.000+01:00

he he he... i've just signed up for Gmail! Unfortunately, some bastard already took richie@gmail.com... still, at least my email isn't completely random like some people's. The problem is is I don't actually need another email address... still, here we go - richie.g@gmaill.com is now here :o)

2004-04-26T15:54:00.000+01:00

Martin's ill, let's all say 'Awwwwwwwwwwww!'.

Poor little lamb.

Oh, and this is probably the best place to tell you all that on Wednesday morning (Ron's Lesson) we're going up to that letting agency. Woo. 2 Hours we won't be doing any work.

What's new?

2004-04-25T21:32:00.000+01:00

OK - so here goes for my first post!

On Friday I helped a local disco dude for a disco for Devon YFC. Using my ever increasing knowledge of IT (Winamp) and the feature of multi-screening in Windows XP I displayed the visualization from Winamp onto a wall in the hall.

The 'WOW-factor' was unbelievable! People would walk into the hall and would make a point about the pretty pattern on the wall.

You can take a look at the photos taken from the disco at www.wired-for-sound.co.uk and click on Devon YFC Spring Dance April 2004 - I must warn you the site is (still!) under construction!

It was a great night and look forward to developing ideas and the next disco!

Ian

2004-04-24T19:44:00.000+01:00

Bored, been working on my assignment half the day while compiling bits for my linux box, and I'm so chuffed with it i though i would post a screen dump. Look at my desktop aint it purty.

Need beer now.

2004-04-23T10:41:00.000+01:00

OK time to get back to the online kitchenware again. It seems to a current obsession, but Take a look at this. This is Koolio it takes the idea of an internet fridge and combines it with robotics to give you a fridge that will come to you to deliver your chosen beverage.

Is this progress, maybe but I'm not sure if can handle stairs yet!

2004-04-21T23:46:00.000+01:00

Shameless plug:

I've recently finished doing some coding work to my new site, and I now have created my own commenting engine! How beautiful, eh?

If peeps would like to test it out, then wibble along to http://fearthemoose.34sp.com/beta! Thanks!

2004-04-21T18:24:00.000+01:00

Being geekish isn't wearing bottle-bottom glases, or having see-through skin. No. It's being impressed by something which is considered worthless by anyone else.

There's a new game, DX9-based, roaming the web called .kkrieger (sp?). It's a free-download - slightly buggy, but already includes such things as environmental shadows on your weapon (and other objects), muzzle flashes that light up other models (eg. Enemies) and plenty of the usual DX9 trickery.

You're thinking, 'Free download? That'll take bloody ages, I bet...'

You're wrong. It weighs in at a Kate-Moss style 96kb. Geeky, or what? DX Assembler can work wonders!

You'll need a fair machine to play it (1.5GHz CPU, GF4 Ti/Radeon 8500 and 512MB of RAM), but the game itself can be had (in a matter of seconds) from here: http://www.theprodukkt.com/.

2004-04-18T15:10:00.000+01:00

Ok, its sunday, back to college tomorrow, current assignment work done with two weeks off... ZERO! But I do now have my very own Linux box that has been 100% compiled and configured by me.
Happiness + 50%, Geekiness +200%, Coursework + 0%!

2004-04-16T15:50:00.000+01:00

Here's something that'll make Jamie cringe..... I've just seen a Ford Escord covered in bird shit... A cheap, but effective, modding method I think ;o)

That is all...

2004-04-10T12:04:00.000+01:00

This'll have some of you laughing... possibly...

Thanks to Tom, I am now known simply as 'G'. Fair enough, I don't mind.

So imagine my surprise this morning when I opened my post, to find a letter addressed to 'Mr G'...

OK... OK... I'll give you the whole address line to show you why...

'Mr G Richard'...

I think there was a bit of an administrative cock up there I think...

2004-04-08T21:19:00.000+01:00

Well they say that truth is stranger than fiction, and today at work it has been proven...
Now I work for a courier company part-time, one of the things I have to do is load the wagons with freight. Needless to say the following not has been found in his cab.

Dear Scania Technician,

This vehicle has recently been in for an MOT. Since then the road speed has been reduced by 2-3 MPH. This has had the effect of reducing my journey time by 10 minutes each way, in a time sensitive job!

Plus 53 & 04 Reg lorries are passing me(this is frustrating) and my colleagues are again taking the piss as I can't keep up with them. Please could you put the speed back up 2-3MPH. This would be most appreciated, Thanks.

You wouldn't believe it if it was in a film would you... Needless to say the driver in question will be getting a bit of stick for the next few weeks.

2004-04-08T13:33:00.000+01:00

Star Wars ... The Gansta Rap!
It's a big download for you modem users at around 1.6MB. but definatly worth a look.
Luke, Im ya Fartha, I'm ya Fartha,Im ya Fartha, I'm ya Fartha...

2004-04-07T13:55:00.000+01:00

The End of my holiday boredom! I've been a busy bunny doing nothing, and feeling tired. Now i have a reason to stay up until the early hours.... Retro Remakes! Just been smurfin' over at Retrospec and have downloaded Chuckie Egg.

I loved that game, much of my childhood was wasted on that...
Anyway enough of this blogging i have games to play !

2004-04-06T21:03:00.000+01:00

OH MY GOD. This is funny. This is almost Weeble & Bob, without the random pie-comments!

Get ready for...... THE EXORCIST IN 30 SECONDS ...... Re-Enacted by Bunnies!

http://www.angryalien.com/0204/exorcistbunnies.html

2004-04-06T16:22:00.000+01:00

OK... This will be the most random post ever...

Dust is made up of dead human skin right? Well, why is it that in old houses that have been empty for years, everything in them is covered in a thick layer of dust???

Just a random thought that came to me as I woke up this morning...

You can carry on with your lives now!

2004-04-06T15:08:00.000+01:00

In a feat of unprecendented, and gargantuan amazement, Microsoft have released some of their software to the Open-Source community!

Detailed in an article on The Inquirer, here, it states the the Windows Installer XML (WiX) toolset has been released on to Source Forge. Whilst this may seem a little geekish, it has to be understood that this is a monumental step towards Microsoft accepting the current direction of the IT world.

It also means we'll be able to script-write (in beautifully-simple XML) our own MSI installers for college coding projects. Too bad they didn't do it before the IVA finished.

The source can be downloaded from SourceForge, by following this link; http://sourceforge.net/projects/wix/

2004-04-04T11:13:00.000+01:00

Ok I'm on a real lethargic one, It's Sunday, got bugger all to do really. Just gonna sit down and watch the racing. Just slobbing at home thinking about getting dressed, then the inevitable thought happened... Does everyone slob around in their bathrobes on sunday? I mean it saves on washing and I haven't got to leave the house today. After all Arthur Dent journied the entire galaxy in his Bathrobe.

Wonder if you can get an Internet Bathrobe ?

2004-04-04T10:07:00.000+01:00

Is there no end to the kitchen appliances that are becoming Internet Enabled???

LG are at it again. First the Internet Fridge, and according to This Article Right Here there's an Internet Microwave Oven, and even an Internet Washing Machine. Searching for 'Internet Dishwasher' told me two things... first this is possible, and secondly, you can get a dishwasher-safe cordless keyboard.

What's next??? The Internet Egg Whisk (plug it in, and it'll know what recipy you're doing and adjust it's rate of whisking for the best end result possible?), or The Internet Tin Opener (it'll figure out what kind of tin you're opening, and search the net for any recipies containing those products. No more beans on toast for me again!)

Apparantly, MSN have developed the Internet Toilet although I think this one may be a hoax.

Any other kitchen appliances that might be made more useul by plugging it into to the Internet? OK, OK... I know the toilet isn't technically a kitchen appliance, but it was quite interesting to see it done...

2004-04-03T11:40:00.000+01:00

You know what, I have finally found an article that quite nicely supports my current lust fo a PowerMac. Yes I know you all think I'm mad but trust me, it makes sense!

2004-04-02T19:33:00.000+01:00

Shit... I've been beaten to it again... even the Internet Toaster exists... even worse, it exists in more than one form!!!

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sci/tech/1264205.stm

http://livinginternet.com/i/ia_myths_toast.htm

2004-04-02T19:26:00.000+01:00

OK... This is completely pointless, but I'm quite proud of meself really...

Got the Red Dwarf series IV DVD for me birthday couple days back, and (completely by accident) I've found one of the ominous Easter Eggs on it :o) (I had to look the III ones up somewhere...)

For those of you who want to know, go to the Text Bonus Features menu, and go right from the 'Back' menu. It's a cartoon featurette featuring who I assume to be Rob Grant, Doug Naylor and Ed Bye talking about the episode Dimension Jump.

Oh well...

While I'm on the subject of RDIV... Would anybody like any toast?

Hmmm... That gives me another idea... an Internet Toaster... Google Awaits!!!

2004-04-01T17:59:00.000+01:00

The Inquirer have posted their best April Fools story to date:

http://theinquirer.net/?article=15096

Just remember _folks_ -- it's not true.

2004-04-01T09:13:00.000+01:00

Oxymoron of the day:

"It's not Unfinished, I just haven't finished it yet !"

2004-03-31T20:02:00.000+01:00

In light of recent 'Target Tom' posts, here's a little preminition I've had!

Martin, by the time he's finished the course and turned the ripe old age of 30, will look something like the chap below.

That is, unless Jamie starts to remember things we've told him. Say ... Have you heard my hair restorer joke?

2004-03-31T14:22:00.000+01:00

Ok Inspired by the Internet fridge, I though what about using this. Yes its a Rackmount fridge so you can keep cold beer next to your network hubs and rack mount pc's. I can suddently imagine Tom getting a couple of these and building a Internet Fridge server farm ! With cold cathodes that light up the fridge when you open the door!

2004-03-31T10:46:00.000+01:00

Hmmm..... An Internet Fridge - that'd be a cool idea (no pun intended...). So imagine my surprise when I popped over to Google to find out where I could patent my idea, to find that it's already been done...

So here is the Internet Fridge

2004-03-31T10:43:00.000+01:00

Been playing with this anagram generator. My name is an anagram of "It attracts women". Post your anagrams here...

2004-03-30T23:38:00.000+01:00

Cool found me a comments thingy!

2004-03-30T23:08:00.000+01:00

"Bill Gates is so powerful that microsoft has just declared itself a nuclear state", Apparently!

Well thats according to Googlism.com. This seems to play a word association game using google.com as an engine, so the results are taken from websites. I have a funny feeling this could be a popular link, so far i have wasted somwhere close to 20 minutes playing with this site.

2004-03-30T22:47:00.000+01:00

In light of today's events I have adjusted my site accordingly...

Take a look at www.iashelford.co.uk or click to the right >>>>

I'm sure boredom will push me over the edge one day!

2004-03-30T15:54:00.000+01:00

OK, well I never though this would happen. Got bored an though what would you find if you type "Student" into google images. Sure enough its Richie G and Steve Powers Love child!

2004-03-30T15:52:00.000+01:00

The Life of Yaks...

Here...

2004-03-30T15:42:00.000+01:00

Keeping in mind that this blog is for the random things that come about day to day, I'm glad I put my bit in the searching for random images at Google Images!!!

2004-03-30T15:11:00.000+01:00

Waaheeyyy I got Friends !!!!

2004-03-30T15:10:00.000+01:00

Hi there - I be the first invitee... This could turn out to be rather fun..

For some interesting musings, you could try this website!.

Long gone are the days of web design. Kentucky Fried Web will now be the home of pure BOLLOCKS.

2004-03-30T15:09:00.000+01:00

Hmmm... I suppose I've got nothing better to put here at the moment except the coloured sheep Ian sent round earlier...